Cravings, lessons learned

Dairy-free month is coming to a close. We've been remarkably good, and frankly it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. There were a couple of things I really wanted but couldn't have, but for the most part, I hardly missed dairy at all. Which is remarkable.

That being said, as we're getting ready to transition into our new challenge (March: gluten free) I find myself craving things I can't have.

I want tiramisu. I want buttered popcorn. And, for the second month in a row, I want a grilled ham and cheese sandwich like nobody's business.

Since Alex and I technically cheated on Valentine's Day, we forfeit our amnesty day. Which means we transition directly from dairy-free to gluten free with no free day in between.

I'm planning on trying my hand at gluten free sandwich bread, but I don't know how well it'll turn out.

For the most part I'm not worried about being without gluten. Gluten is Alex's downfall, not mine.

I survived dairy-free. And I learned something very important - I can do without. I didn't miss cheese with a passion. I couldn't have cared less about not having milk. Butter is well loved, but not needed.

I plan on cutting down on my dairy intake from here on out. I'm still going to eat cheese because I love it, but I'm downgrading it from a necessity to a treat. I'm switching to almond milk lattes (less than 40 calories a serving!).

So, wish us luck as we transition, and if you know of any tried and true gluten-free sandwich breads, please let me know. I've got a hankering for a good grilled cheese sandwich.

Decisions, decisions

Sunday is Valentine's Day. I'm sure you're all aware of that. For us, Valentine's Day has typically been a day where we indulge and treat ourselves to a nice meal.

There is a restaurant here in Seattle that is wonderful. It's called Tilth. We've eaten at Tilth many times and have always thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. This year, they are having a prix fixe menu. When Alex called to ask if they would be willing to make ours dairy-free, they readily agreed. They're just awesome like that.

However. We have given ourselves one amnesty day per month. And Tilth is rather expensive. Why, Alex asked, would we pay all that money and not eat what we want?

Why, indeed?

We are very lucky. We have no food allergies. We make enough money to eat what we want. That's the whole point of this exercise.

But Alex was right. It seems silly to pay a lot of money for a dinner that, while I'm sure we would enjoy, isn't what we'd really rather be eating.

So Sunday is Valentine's Day. It is also our amnesty day. And we will enjoy it. But the most important thing is this: we will appreciate it for what it is. And that is actually what this is all about.

The reality of the situation

I commented last month about how I was aware that dairy was everywhere. I was worried about sinning unknowing.

Here's the reality: it happens.

Alex's latte got mixed up with someone else's on Tuesday, and he got one made with milk. He sipped it and knew right away it was wrong (though it had more to do with the fact that it was flavored, and less to do with how the milk was).

Last night, I baked a cake for a coworker. The cake is fine for me to eat because it doesn't contain any dairy (remember, for our purposes eggs are not dairy). However, when I went to make the icing, I realized I had three choices: make the icing and put it on the cake untasted, make the icing and snatch someone from outside to taste, or taste it myself.

I take a lot of pride in my cakes. I most definitely wasn't going to put it on the cake untasted. Icing is finicky, and it has to taste just right. I didn't want it to be too tart (it was cream cheese frosting) but I also didn't want it to be cloying. No way to tell without a taste.

I could have grabbed someone to taste it. It might have been difficult, it was 9:30pm after all, but I'm sure I could have done so. However, again, this is pride in my cake. I know what the cake tastes like so I know what I need the frosting to taste like.

So I tasted it myself. I only had two small tastes (think the size of a nail head). It was enough to get an idea what the icing needed.

Day three and I had dairy. But you know what? I don't regret it. I'm sure my lactose-free friends would back me up.

The second challenge: dairy-free

Well, we were successful. Vegetarian month came to a close with both of us feeling good about our progress.

During the course of the month, we decided that each month we would have one amnesty day. This, of course, is dependent on our adherence to the monthly challenge. Our amnesty day for vegetarianism was the 31st and we reintroduced ourselves to land animals and said goodbye to dairy.

Alex and I both agreed that we would return to vegetarianism later in the year and give it our full effort. In January, we were helped along by eating fish. When we return, we will be completely animal-free.

This month we're dairy-free. My hardest vice to give up will definitely be cheese, but I'll be strong. We even found a restaurant willing to make us a dairy-free dinner on Valentine's Day. Lucky us! (More on that later in the month).

Easy choices and difficult ones

Vegetarianism is a relatively easy food choice. It's well understood and fairly easy to work around when you're going out. As Alex put it last night, "There is not a lot of hidden meat."

Excepting the few times that I've already mentioned, not eating meat has not been difficult. And even my cravings were easily avoided.

Next month we're going dairy free. No milk, no butter, no cheese.

I'm not worried about my daily latte because I'm fond of almond milk. Since Alex and I typically make them at home, it's an easy switch.

No, the area where I'm most worried is butter, cheese, and milk and going out. Restaurants use them in everything.

I've rather enjoyed being a vegetarian, though I do appreciate meat a lot more now. But I'm afraid of being dairy-free. Not only do I love dairy, but I am worried that if I go out to restaurants, I'll sin unknowing.

Any recommendations?

The emotional experience of food

What food do you reach for when you're sad? When you're happy? When you're bored? The answers to those questions really tells you a lot about how you think of food.

When I didn't get into graduate school in 2009, I was devastated. I wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball and disappear. And when Alex sought to coax me into eating dinner, the only thing I wanted was pork dumplings. Today, when I was distressed about graduate school, all I wanted was bacon and hash browns.

When I'm happy, all I want it popcorn or Thai food (sans meat, for the record).

What does this say about me? Meat is my comfort. What else did you learn about me? Graduate school drives me crazier than anything else.

Thankfully, I have a wonderful boyfriend who supports me in all things in my life. He also is a big part in this year of conscious eating, because we dreamed it together. While I curled on the couch and stressed out and raged, Alex cooked the vegetarian dinner we were supposed to have tonight. Had it been left to me, I likely would have turned to meat, in the form of pizza or carpaccio, or bacon, or all three.

We're in this together, Alex and I, and I'm thankful for that. I'm proud of myself for not succumbing to my need for meat comfort. Though, to be honest, had I cooked dinner, I likely would have cooked up the chorizo in the fridge.

On cravings and unforseen difficulties

"I think that allowing ourselves fish has made me not really miss land animals," Alex said to me, when I questioned whether or not he'd had any cravings.

He's right for the most part. I think we'd both be a lot worse off (craving-wise, anyway) if we'd decided to cut fish out. I have a lot of respect for people who are able to do this, but we were being realistic when we outlined the first month of conscious eating.

We have, however, been more thoughtful with regards to the fish we've eaten. Check out the sushi post for more details.

We went out for dinner last Friday with a friend of ours and her friend who came with us ordered a steak. Smelling it and seeing it (and hearing him rave about it) was definitely hard, but we stayed strong and persevered.

My only flirtation with undoing (so far) came in the form of a tweet from a delicious pizza restaurant in Seattle. It was simple but it made my mouth water.

I immediately reported it to Alex, part of me hoping he'd say, "Okay let's go!" But, when it comes to carpaccio, he has more will power than I do and held strong. The sad thing is that I won't even be able to eat it next month because I think we'll be dairy-free.

The hardest thing so far has been finding lunches to take. This seems like such an easy thing, but has proven to be difficult. We used to take leftovers for lunch the next day but since I started volunteering we stagger our dinners and eat leftovers the next night as dinner. This works fairly well, dinner-wise, but makes lunch difficult. We may reevaluate this soon.

The first week we thought we'd make it easy and just take cans of soup. As we stood in the aisle, reading ingredients, we were surprised to find just how many vegetable soups contained some form of meat, if even just chicken or beef broth. We managed, but it was an eye-opener.

This week we've been taking pitas and that has been tasty and filling. I already have a recipe to try for next week to mix it up. But, like I said, I have a new respect for those people who live this lifestyle.